Forever

The nails in your hands
The nail in your feet
They tell me how much you love me

The thorns on your brow
They show me how
You bore so much shame to love me

And when the heavens pass away
All your scars will still remain

And forever they will say
How much you love me
And I want to say


Forever my love


Forever my heart


Forever my life, it's yours


It's yours

Hope in the Storm

I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help.

From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it. He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet. He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind. He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—the dark rain clouds of the sky. Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning. The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies, great bolts of lightning and routed them. The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at your rebuke,

O LORD,

at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

The past couple of months have just seemed like a blah time for me. I just felt so unhappy without reason. I could look at all of the good things happening in my life, but I didn't feel excited about any of them; I just felt like I had started drowning in this deep sorrow that I didn't understand. This past weekend was the one of the worst times. My emotions were on a roller coaster and I didn't understand what was going on. And then Sunday night I just gave up. (I am so grateful that God never gives up on me and that he has also blessed me with friends who won't either.) I talked things over with a friend and started to feel hopeful. Then this week has just steadily improved. But, if someone asked I couldn't put my finger on what had happened to make it change--and to be honest, I was a little worried at first and didn't want to enjoy this new sense of peace because I was afraid it wouldn't last. But, it has. And it has only increased since then.

There were two nights this week when it was storming all night--thunder, lightning, the works--and I felt such peace in listening to it. Then tonight I read Psalm 18. As I was feeling like the waters were closing in on me, the Lord stormed down from heaven and rescued me. This is an incredible affirmation of his love for me. And now I know why this week has improved--why my general outlook on life has improved--he has saved me!! He delights in me. He doesn't want to see me drown and so he has defeated my foe and given me peace and hope in place of fear and depression.

Hallelujah

a promise

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Iron in the fire

When an iron rod is in a fire it inevitably becomes like that fire; it becomes red hot. When we are in Christ we become like him, inevitably. And just as an iron cannot be made hot on its own outside of the fire, so we cannot become like Christ outside of him. Therefore, we become like what we're in. May it be Christ.

I cannot do my way into God's will. I need to be in Christ.

Holiness is unaware of itself.

-paraphrased words and thoughts inspired by Ed Wenger

My Plans

I was created for something greater. No more (no more status-quo)--taking the ordinary and making it into something great is God's way of getting glory (although, he didn't create anything ordinary anyway). God created something in each one of us that is amazing. It needs to be unearthed. Some have had others stomp the seed far into the ground. There is no excuse to stay there. (Seeds don't grow well in the dark.) Some may have been planted in dry ground. There is no excuse not to grow. (Seeds don't grow well in hard earth.)

God is bigger than any circumstance that we have ever faced. He is bigger than those that have tried to stomp our dreams or quench our thirst for more. God is bigger. (Strangely enough, He's got the whole world in his hands is playing in the background right now...He really does!) I get lost in his bigness, in his magnitude--and forget about drawing in close to his heart. If his being expanses infinitely in all directions, I cannot grasp it. But, if I can just just draw in, just get in close enough to be in his heart--that's where I can dive in deep and stay focused, move in rhythm with his heartbeat.

If the something greater is great in my mind--how much greater is it really in God's plans, if they are higher than mine, he holds all time and is in control of everything--it just takes my breath away that he would have intricate details planned out for my life. Why do I choose not to trust him--to strive for my own greatness instead of striving to be closer to his heart? If I could just sit still in it and listen--stop making my own plans and let this heartbeat become my own, be so intimately close that our breath is the same...

Then I wouldn't be so focused on making great and wonderful plans for my life; I'd be focused on the Great and the Wonderful who is my life.